Somewhere in between

When I first moved here, I remember how much I hated it—especially when people talked about this being the only place to be if you were in tech. I wouldn’t say I had a particularly techie personality. But it’s been two years since I moved to the Bay, and so much about me has become Bay-arealized. Which is good, maybe. I’ve become a more pragmatic person.

I always used to describe myself on the first page of my diaries:

[著] 树明子 一个信奉现实主义的理想主义者 | An idealist who believes in realism

Depending on the stage of life, I sometimes flip it to:

一个信奉理想主义的现实主义者 | A realist who believes in idealism

Being here did make me more grounded. Otherwise, I might have become someone who suffered from the unbearable lightness of life. I’m glad I’m who I am—still a work in progress. It’s been a process of self-exploration. Maybe, at some point, it was all shaped by whatever the environment brought me. But my little ego says I made those decisions myself.

There’s been a period when I’ve been afraid to speak up, to talk about things, or to share my ideas. I thought I wasn’t there yet because I hadn’t learned enough to have something to say.

Recently, I’ve been thinking that writing things down along the way of learning is good, too: a way of documenting evolving ideas and how they shape me. So I’ve decided to start doing more free writing.

I always say I’m not tech enough, and I’m not humanities enough. But at the same time, that means I’m at the intersection of tech and humanities. I can also say I know a little bit of tech and have a little bit of humanities.